Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Needs to vent.

Because I doubt anyone would be pleased to listen or read what I have to vomit. Basically I am having this immense mixed up feelings of disappointment, hate, anger, confused, moronic, & dissatisfaction. Yes you guessed it, this is a hate(sort of) post. Why isn't Friday coming any sooner.

Alas, after FOUR (5 to be exact) friggin' months finally there's a confirmation letter. Probation should've ended by mid February, though I have no fucking idea with the extra months for a confirmation. Did they mean they've extended my probation to 10 months? 'Cos of my punctuality? My inability to produce decent design? If it's so, why wasn't there any notice? This just simply doesn't justify the increment from July onwards. SO WHAT ABOUT THE PAST 4 MONTHS' PAY? Just forget about it?? Clientele complications is NONE of my beeswax.

I did not expect I'd reach this point of time again so soon, where I'm pondering about the work I do. Am I happy. Am I satisfied. Am I eager to continue on like this. The answer is NO. If so, what am I gonna do about it. What am I gonna do to change these negativities into something more positive. What are my alternate options. What other things I can do, but I've yet to try. I do admit I am very lucky that I only have minor financial commitments.

Bottomline, I'm still not happy with what I do. I can't see myself doing this for the next five years, I don't see any prospect in it, I don't see any sort of achievement that I'm seeking, and deep down, I'm not a big fan of artsy design. I'm planning to rekindle my passion for drawing again once more, IF it goes through for the first time, cool! I guess it's just whether am I willing to take the initiative & heart in doing it in the first place. Failure for once or twice or bajillion times isn't an excuse to run away from it.

In DMC (yes, this kuso anime), I find Negishi putting up courage singing his fav song by the streets with his guitar while being ignored by the passers-by is something to look up to. Funny, silly awful, & fictional, but at least he has the guts to do something he loves & feel happy about it. So tell that to myself *failure*

Yesterday I interrogated someone in a wrongful way based on an assumption. I realised my mistake later on. And it hurts the most when the anger I felt is developed towards myself. Nothing can be done, except being apologetic, & thinking what an ass I am. And there I was calling people an ass. I shall dig a hole and hide in.

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Friday, July 24, 2009

Coraline. Art. Random rants.

Oh my twitchy witchy girl, I think you are so nice, I give you bowls of porridge, & I give you bowls of ice cream, I give you lots of kisses, & I give you lots of hugs, but I never give you sandwiches with bugs in. - Coraline

I love Coraline. There's an immense respect I had for stop-motion animation, and Coraline is beautiful, even the dull colour hues in the 'real world' are interesting to feast your eyes on.

Overall the story gives an eerie feeling of having an alternate reality seperated by a small mysterious door at a corner of your living room - yesh, I love alternate realities, alternate dimensions, alternate personalities, alternate outcomes, alternate whatever there is. And a part of this story's moral basically tells no matter how sucky your current reality is, it IS always the better one; as long you're willing to try & look at it in a different, positive point of view & give it another chance to make it better. I'm just disappointed with the idea of the 'belman' controlling everything in the 'other world' & desperately needing someone to love. Probably 'cos I was expecting something more bizarre than that. Thanks Tara for the lend!


You know when you're asked an important question - be it trouble-wise, or relationship-wise kinda situation - somewhere in your mind, you know the answer, yet you couldn't put it all into words to tell it. THIS, is one of my flaws.

And now, I couldn't properly describe how I've been lately, so here's a list in point form.. 'cos I CAN:
• I dislike untrue news about me. Stop overreacting in defining people's actions, grow up.
• I wasn't really going after how high my increment will be. As long there is, in addition to the backlogged 4-5 months, which my salary should've been reviewed; I'm fine.
• I felt useless when I realised someone else could do something (perfectly) while I couldn't when I tried. I wasn't really worth the time afterall even as a friend.
• I am always the one who ask. I never get one in return. Someone else does. Simple things like this could crush my ego in a second. And it's been crushed several times so far.
• Wanted to walk out of office & head to the stairs by the elevators to cry during lunch today, I didn't. I just needed somewhere quiet & alone that's not my work desk.
• Consulted with Arty on a part of my problem, & bugga you do cheer me up & enlighten me on some things. It just hit the spot & you understood/expected what I'm trying to say even in just msn chat. You're too kind T_T (mampuih aku kalo u know I say this here lol TSA, YOU DON'T GO TELL HIM THIS OK!)
• I love midnights, and people might say I'm a weirdo for finding sitting in my kitchen downstairs at 2-3am sipping cold honey-lemon or snacking quietly while staring blankly at the dark living room IS mind-relaxing... (well that's one of the things I like doing during midnights). Though I must force myself to sleep EARLY... sigh.

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Monday, June 01, 2009

Some quotes, some rants, some movies.

"It is better to know and be disappointed, than to not know and always wonder."
I'm always wondering.

"Life is the art of drawing without an eraser.
"
The feeling of wanting to erase a wrong ugly stroke while there's no eraser or ctrl+z available; THE HORROR. OkIgetitperfectly.

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."

Yours truly is bored. Because Raidou 2 finally decided not to load on her crappy PS2 for good. I've been feeling the lack of enthusiasm at work lately. It hasn't been a year yet and I'm feeling plain b o r e d at what I'm doing. There's been times I thought of the possibility of returning to the animation field, for the sake of doing something different once in awhile. I do miss the Animasians, everyone shares the same interests & lotsa team efforts & friendliness T_T You won't find that kind of colleagues & environment else where. NOPE. But then again, everything has its ups and mostly downs. Or maybe I just need a vacation; Somewhere by a beach so I can sulk all I want..~

Another thing to add into my depression is the guilt lingering in me. I'm probably the most selfish, unpredictable, mean, nonsensicle person anyone should meet or know. Someone might understand what I meant since I love popping up stupid questions/assumptions randomly & give you a hard time just because I feel insecure (I apologise again for those past & future moments lol). I know it can't be helped, and if I do, it'll only make matters worst? I don't know. I'm not in a clear & steady mind now to make a proper judgment. Very often I wish someone or a divine conscience could appear and just tell me what's right & what's wrong, BUT that would only defeats the purpose of living a life. Someone out there, I'm SORRY. I just want to relax & feel free, not be stressed or uncomfortable at the same time. And I realised by my attempt of doing so, I'd caused trouble/uneasiness to other people as well. NOW I SOUND PREACHY OH GAWD I SHALL STOP ALREADY. Anyone who read this whole paragraph, you're sick lol you deserve no prize *gets stoned to death*

Terminator: Salvation brief thoughts:
• There's NOT ENOUGH TERMINATORS (humanoid types) walking about. Skynet HQ is a good sad example.
• I enjoyed the giant robot blasting every escaping vehicles :D And the two bikes ejected from its legs. Cool.
• Christian Bale
• Helena Bonham Carter is a surprise for me.
I liked her from her role as Bellatrix (Harry Potter) & Mrs. Lovett (Sweeney Todd).
• Marcus stepping on a landmine is a sad outcome. Poor Marcus. That's for following a hungry babe through a field of landmines when she said it's okay to :D
• John Conner's wife looks younger than she was in Terminator 3
(no offense to Claire Danes fans).
• Overall it's OK. I miss Arnold.


Milk brief thoughts:
• I didn't know it'd be related to the history of Castro Street in San Francisco.
• I didn't know there's James Franco
• Sean Penn is brilliant.
• I like modern films that depicts the 70's (another is Zodiac).
• Watching this with mom is like watching a comedy. Sigh.
• I have not much thoughts, but it left a good impression. And I love movies that does that.

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Sunday, May 31, 2009

Thoughts

Without this talent, though amateur & seemingly unimportant; I'd think my life is less meaningful. I'm just blabbing.

Some web pimpage:
IKEA Go Clean Your Room Contest
Prize: RM2000 vouchers - by submitting a photo or video of your room/store/kitchen and get your buddies & relatives to vote like crazy.

IKEA Love the Earth
As the title says.

Star Wars I Like
A die-hard Star Wars fan's blog about reviews on Star Wars collectable figurines, models, shops, etc. And it's catered almost daily and comprehensively (with photos).

At times I felt I misunderstood the whole agenda. I was naive. I am a pessimist in this subject. In the end, I'm a serious & sensitive person. People's actions means a lot to me. I can't deny that fact no matter how silly or ignorant I acted. And with doubt comes paranoia. Conclusion, I think it's time I should back away and just take it all as a big joke before I make a fool of myself further. I apologise for any offense or mistakes.

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Thursday, May 14, 2009

KOF related. Fanart. Random.

Elisabeth Blanctorche is my other favorite female KOF character. 'Cos I just *love* equestrian outfits. Above sketch contains lotsa perspective/detail errors which I DO care but failed to fix it <--- lame excuse.

• I wish it is now July.
• I am happy there's Elisabeth & Mature addition exclusively for the home console of KOFXII.
• But I certainly prefer their previous costume design (they just look so bland & normal now).
• Still, I was hoping there is K'.
• Watching pixelised, blurred gameplay videos on youtube is just fun.
• And I was supposed to be doing work - I didn't.
• Iori is droolsome ♥

My new love is Ben & Jerry's. I would now think RM26 for a pint is worth it; I must be crazy. Certainly not keepable at home. Considering that my chocolate stash in the fridge are majorly being raided by my beloved 2nd bro whenever he's here.

On work related: It's already passed my 6th month probation and currently on my 9th month here. I don't mean to be 'calculative', but... WHEN IS MY PAY GONNA BE REVISED, BOSSES?

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Thursday, April 09, 2009

David Archuleta's arrival in KLIA

Yes he's here! Arrived in KLIA 7.40pm, but he only came out about 8pm? I read that from somewhere... oh well, yours truly certainly wasn't there to witness the exciting moment OTL Though I'm happy enough that HE'S HERE IN MALAYSIA! Just last year, at this same time, he was still competing in American Idol. Look where he is now XD



Video taken from Archuleta Avenue Malaysia. Kudos to them for the great welcoming efforts! There's also some videos on his KLIA arrival which was... SCARY and sadly embarrassing to note (morbid fangirls shrieking at the top of their lungs while howling themselves towards him) and though I wasn't sure if David got mobbed while on his way out - it doesn't seem he's given enough bodyguards for it IMO ^^; Not sure what happens later.

ANYWAYS, the thought of the high-pitched screams certainly scares me @_@ (I know, it's just from youtube, but that's scary enough it makes me petrified) plus, I have the fear of being stuck in a crowded area. BUT. BUT I'M GOING TO THE SHOWCASE THIS SATURDAY NO MATTER WHAT. I wanna see him sing with my own eyes at least ^^ Really hope everything goes fine and David enjoys his stay in Malaysia! (hope he loves our local spicy gourmet too!) XD

Stuff non-related to David
Work is fucked up lately. Tasks piling up, tasks coming in out of nowhere, less than a week deadlines = ASS. I can't help but thinking "are they sucking up to every bits and pieces of the client's requests?". I'm still fond of this company, but my hatred towards the project timelines just kept accumulating. And there ought to be some notice like "Things designers want non-designers to know" or vice-versa (programmers, client servicing, etc.) rather than assuming "oh, it's just changing/adding in a word/image, very fast one mah" but it turned out you've gotta revamp the whole damn thing in fact because of various reasons that you're too tired to explain 'cos doing that is just ass crap thrown back at you (client wants it, so it has to be done kinda crap) and might as well save it for work to meet the divine deadline. I know the other department has their own problems as well, but since I don't know what it is, so I'm just ranting senseless here to feel better myself. Sorry, I've seen too much AVGN. Happy thoughts after this, think positive, be optimistic, be nice, smile.

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Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Some quick David A's stuff I'd wanna bookmark...

Archuleta Avenue Malaysia.
Our very own local stop catering for Malaysian Arch Angels! <3 Hurray!!!

David Archuleta Singapore!
Title says it all~

Ford Day Performances


Performing in full length, "Angels" by Robbie Williams.


First time performing his first single: "CRUSH".


And also my ultra most favourite, "Imagine" by John Lennon (full length! now i've gotta rip this off to mp3 just to listen). Can't help laughing at what he's trying to say after performing "Crush" ('you know.. I don't know.. you know.. I hope I'm not anyway..') XD

On some personal subject...
*REALY* should pickup my tablet & draw again by now. I still have 2 commissions left undone and I'm sososoo sorry again m(__)m
October is approaching, November, then comes December! (CF2008alreadyHOMG!) *lies flat against the floor somewhere...*

Hari Raya week my new company (joined mid Aug) went for a Japan trip, leaving 4 newbies behind (yup, including me who'd DIE to go to Japan with a FREE FLIGHT TICKET & HOTEL STAYS) ............. How ironic. But I always remind myself there'd be a day I could save up enough to finally afford a step on Narita Airport. Yes.

DOYOUKNOWHOWHEARTSICKENINGITISTOKEEPHEARINGYOUGUYS
BABBLINGABOUTWHERETOGOINTOKYOFORWEEKS?????????????
DOYOUKNOWPAYINGONLYFIVEHUNDREDPLUSFORTHETAXTOJAPAN
ISARSEFOOOOOKINGLYCHEAP?

Iknowitsnotanyonesfaultcosijustwannacomplainaboutjealousyandirony...

Time for bed. Orz
I always ends up sleeping late in the end.

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Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Letter of Resignation. Art. Bunraku

Just printed out my resignation letter, and I got myself another job! ^o^ So it's 'throw letter and face the questionnaires day' tomorrow! XD *gulps* And then there's a 30 days period before I get to leave....... or more? OTL -Never know what excuses would come up.. OR they'd rather terminate me immediately..? *dreams*

There's a few reasons why I'd love to quit my current job, even though it's been only my 3rd month currently. The fact that most of the former staff has left could explain it in a nutshell, and the dreaded feeling I have whenever I woke up to work is enough to tell myself that I'm not happy with this job and the working environment (bosses arguing with each other frm time to time for petty matters as I've witnessed) What I had in mind whenever I think of them is: Ignorant humans. Nuff said. Though I mentioned 'a few', I could go on alot when it comes to complaining.. so I'd better not *grumpy* =_+

Art post!

This is Asuka Yoshimoto, 2nd commission piece for y0sh1r0 and I'm glad he likes it! ^w^ It's been awhile since I drew anything...! Also it's my first time drawing on my new desktop [Luffy 2.0]! (frm 14" screen to 22" screen) *_*;

Also, while wiki-ing on Vocaloid for Gackpoid, I just discovered that Gackt's gonna be in a movie called BUNRAKU, alongside with Josh Hartnett, Demi Moore, and Ron Perlman (Hellboy)! OW MAI GAWD. No kidding. Gakuto going for western exposure?? Not sure with the director though; I read from a IMDB board post mentioning that the director himself went to Japan to invite Gackt for the role in a gracious way that he just couldn't refuse it (OF COURSE you won't refuse it dude!) True or not, I'm definitely excited about it!! XDD 2009!

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Monday, June 09, 2008

Job 3rd thoughts.

Working on yet another public holiday isn't helping myself to like my current job any better (when I tried to). The only bright side is that I'm learning alot - but in a very short & limited time since almost every project needs to be rushed. Not to forget when something needs to be done fast in a 'forced' way, e.g. working OT till midnight in 3 days straight including a weekend public holiday till the next morning 5am. Now I've worked for at least 17 hours in 1 day! A personal breaking record that I'll be happy to not have it >__>

On another subject, I'm HAPPY to read about this news! Not that it's unexpected, but he totally deserves it. It'll be blasphemous if he don't get a contract!! \(>A<)/

BTW, I'm starting on playing WoW. I've always been wondering what's so addictive about this game, now - I know... =3= (harga minyak naik, I invest on WoW pulak, aduhai~)

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Sunday, May 18, 2008

GTA IV. Job 2nd thoughts.

It is a time where I wish I'm vacationing at my uncle's place in Melbourne even though it's gonna be boring. It's HOT like **** here =____=;;;;; Even the tap water is warm.

GTA IV, love! LOTsa places, roads, internet, dates, activities, people, etc. to explore. I'm not even familiar with the first place yet (my Niko just moved to Bohan, the 2nd place). I only miss the 'skip journey' option on 2nd try missions... it's frustrating to drive all the way frm Broker to Bohan & failed the mission, & drive all the way down there again on retries.. >_>; Currently I can't pass Brucie's racing mission, of all the kind of missions, I HATE racing... and I don't touch racing games.

My job, I'm not really happy to know that I have to work tomorrow, which is a public holiday (Wesak Day) here. My boss eventually forgot this holiday and promised the client to deliver the work on Tuesday. Deadline supposed to be on Monday, so he thought he pushed back a day more for us to work on it, wow, thanks.

But isn't the work time frame are managed by the Project Manager? Isn't he supposed to know that Monday is a public holiday & negotiate with the client about it? (AND remind my boss that there's a public holiday inbetween & see what're the options???) I know client is ultimately important, but we employees have our rights and personal plans too! What if I've already booked a flight ticket to Langkawi, do I have to cancel it just because "Well, what to do? We don't have time already..." kind of BS.

Regarding other BS:
Work on public holiday..
Me: Isn't Monday a public holiday? We have to work also?
Project Manager: Yala.. But you can claim back leave from XXX.
Me: (Am I supposed to be relieved? NO!)

Work on Saturday..
Project Manager: Halfday? Who told you Saturday work halfday one?
Me: (Are you the boss?) Who works fullday on Saturdays? (other than Animasia)

Urgent work..
Project Manager: You choose lah. You wanna work on Saturday fullday or Monday you wanna stay back.
Me: (niama..) Both days sucked anyway.

Sometimes I dislike the way he comes asking "Have you finish XXX already? I need to show the client today" all in a sudden when he didn't tell us when's the deadline in the first place. I'm only on my first month and I'm starting to discover all these shitty kind of time management already.

Another thing's been bugging me is.. the company used to have a Flash actionscript programmer (he left after last month), so now = 0 actionscript programmer except my boss.
There's also a Flash designer, but leaving after this month I think, so in the near future = 1 Flash designer which is ME.
There's 2 interns helping out, but they're finishing after June.
There's a networking and server techie (I think), a web designer (solely designs only, not putting it into work), and 1 more fella I don't even know what's he's doing actually...
So I'm VERY worried, what if the company really works with only 1 dude for each position (1 programmer, 1 flash designer, 1 web designer, 1 techie, 1 etc.) WHOA. That'll be very risky and stressful with the boss coming to you every hour asking have you done anything especially towards the only programmer and flash designer. Getting an interactive website to work by only 1 programmer and 1 flash designer is NOT NOT NOT safe. What's more with the management-inefficient Project Manager haunting you & making you work extra days just because the client wants it fast. Negotiation is part of your job, dude!

I'm gonna give another month or two. I wouldn't have taken this job if I've known the hierarchy & team status (2 seniors leaving) of this company. Lesson learned: FIND OUT OR ASK ABOUT THE COMPANY'S TEAM (and status) BEFORE YOU TAKE THE JOB... next time. I'm such a dope. Sigh.

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Monday, February 25, 2008

Why is my eyes seeing doubles when I'm not feeling really tired.. @__@? I can't clearly see what I'm colouring.. whether out of the line, or within the line, or a proper matching colour.. What I see now is like a fragmented effect applied in Photoshop's filter (did I make any sense..)

I need to finish colouring as much pages as possible (I'm taking more than 2 weeks to finish 1 set of comic) *snail* I shouldn't have went out for lunch at KL!! *nervous+worried+blur+regret* T__T Previously [LUFFY] started to make that groaning motor sound for a long while.. it sounded like it's gonna explode anytime.. @_@;; And then somehow it stopped making that noise... Yet I have no idea what was it or what caused it to run that way... *sayang laptop* PLEASE DON'T DIE ON ME AT THIS TIME. Orz

Just felt I need to rant off some stress here... Hope I'm not causing a major mistake or negative impression with my ultra slow-ness.. I AM worried.
Will need sleep early to rest my eyes & continue work later.

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Friday, February 08, 2008

Happy CNY!

GONG XI FA CAI!!! HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!

Wishing everyone a joyous & harmonious year ahead! Anyone has any ang pow to spare, TELL ME. Ohohoho~ *shot*

I was watching Brotherhood of the Wolf on CNY eve. It's a movie directed by Christophe Gans years before he did Silent Hill. And it's a movie loosely based on the historical legend of the 'Beast of Gevaudan'. IMO, it's alooooooooooooot better than Romasanta (which's another movie based on the same legend) 'cos overall, IT WASN'T BORING; and BotW was alot more entertaining even though it's odd to find the characters throwing martial art actions around (a'la Matrix slow-mo sequences) during the 18th century France XD But I LOVE this movie. The plot's a little confusing, super-slow at times, but I still find myself entertained & looking forward to what the main protagonist's gonna do next. Definitely a keep! >w<

While enjoying my CNY holidays, I need to redo my comic submission since it's been rejected (!!!) But it's no surprise since it's crappy T_T I just lack the skills & in desperate need to IMPROVE.. or I'll be kicking my ass out of the company in no time! *despairs* OTL In fact, I hate my 1st story... It's a last minute thought of story. But I won't blame it on that except for my own flawed skills. Sigh.
Never ever give up. Yes. But time is being cruel to me ;___; (it's HOLIDAY for god's sake, I wanna go for a VACATION) T______T So I just hope I could produce something more decent out enough before going to Melaka on Sunday with my ex-ex-colleagues... >_<

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Saturday, December 29, 2007

I resigned >8D

I didn't expect I would be doing this this soon, but I threw in my resignation letter today finally. My department leader was lecturing me some of his advices ('discouraging' words of wisdom in fact) about the local comic market, but he meant it in a nice way. Frankly he's a very nice leader, & treats his staff kindly (although sometimes evil when he's giving us work amendments).

Had some bad discussion with my boss about my resignation notice. He misunderstood a part of what I meant about labor law & confirmation letter, but nevertheless, he approves of my resignation notice in the end. YARGHH~ I RESIGNED FROM TEH EBIL ENDLESS KEYFRAME-IB-CLEANUP CHORES~ ^o^ ^o^ ^o^

Time to draw draw draw~~~!!! @__@ (play play play?)
I'm sure I'm gonna suffer in my new job as well OTL

Merry Belated Christmas & A HAPPY NEW YEAR~!!!

*brainstorms for her new year resolutions* >83

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Saturday, October 27, 2007

Another work stress release rant >8D

Boss says:
[1] We're WAY back on our edutainment cartoon's 6 pilot episodes deadline, which's on November, while currently we're only just starting on episode 2 (not to forget there's some VO-keyframe adjustments yet to do).
[2] BK movie has to be good; better than previous locally done featured animations. And a local cinema company is most probably sponsoring on it, bla bla bla... So we've got to improve our skills more, work harder, etc.

So what I think:
[1] That all basically means we've gotta continue on doing OT's for an extra 2-3 hours (total 10-11 hours) everyday, and work fulltime every Saturday.
[2] In order to produce great quality 2D animations for the company; you expect even MORE from us: our effort & our time. Yet as an employee ourselves, we don't see any 'bonus/benefit' we're getting by doing so in the first place.

HOW do you expect unmotivated soldiers to fight & win a war for you, while you're continuing on demotivating them at the same time??? =_=

I'm very tired, and my health is certainly neglecting. I don't get sick this easily before, but now I'm falling sick almost every week (& I'm not exaggerating). I don't get much time to do what I want or have to do for myself either. This is not a happy life at all! OTL

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Monday, October 22, 2007

Couldn't draw anything.

I've been trying to draw something since 11pm till NOW.. (4.12 am) & yet, I'VE DONE NOTHING STILL...!! OTL OTL OTL

It's meant for my company's yearly artbook, a compilation of (almost) every staff's illustration, and this year they're making it full colour, A4! *despairs* Deadline's this coming Saturday.. wait, does this mean this Saturday we've gotta work AS WELL??? Oh geez... *is overworked & underpaid* (they're slowly sucking our personal life away!)

Frankly, I don't even feel like attending this year's CF. It's far, it's gonna be tiring, and mostly it's gonna be boring as well (attend the booth the whole day, duh?) & then there's work the very next day! Does this sound FUN?? NO. Not anymore =_= even though it's a 'once a year' thing. Maybe I'm just being pessimistic. But seriously, I just hope to get more rest.

Art post:
Persona 3 - Junpei x Hero, a la Kazuma Kaneko style (the bottom eyelashes) XD
Sorry, it's a little BL/gay. Hope it doesn't scare anyone away


It's such a good weather to sleep!! (rain drizzling) >w< I'm taking a day off from work today though *glee* Hope to settle what I'm supposed to do, and hopefully finish my submission for DOODLE a.k.a. company's artbook as well OTL

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Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Screwed up o_O

Ongoing stress = piled up + neverending + routine work, lack of time, low wage, pressure, tension. The only solution to this is my resignation letter, but it's not what I intend to do at the moment... *endures*

Most of our keyframe department consists of newbies; yes, including me, STILL, 'cos afterall I'm not from an animation background, and I've only start doing 2D animation in MY LIFE about 3 months ago. I've yet a LOT to learn in order to deliver a certain number of workfiles within a short timeframe without much or any errors.

Hence it annoys me whenever someone would throw something like "You've been doing this for so long, how can you not know..." to my face regarding about animation. You expect a flawless/'international quality' animation from ME in just after 3 months??? It is a miracle or a genius of a person who could do something he/she's new in without any mistakes!

And it's no surprise the keyframe department is slowing down on progress since 4 'senior' keyframe artists left 1 by 1 when I came in. Obviously, who else to blame on the slowdown except US?

I sorta got into an argument with my editing/background/storyboard head today regarding my errors in my animation workfiles: (1) I forgot to add the 'ripple' in the water (2) A character facing the wrong angle in the first few seconds. And he was questioning me in a manner as if I killed his mom =3=

We argued, since he's asking the same question, & I was explaining to him again & again OTL I admitted it's my mistake, my responsibility to correct it, and I was only talking back 'cos he kept questioning me, and so I replied. But he doesn't seem satisfied & I don't know what else he want.

Then came my department's head, walking by, trying to settle our(that hooligan's) problem maybe 'cos he's been raising his voice continuously in the studio where EVERYONE's working at *SHIET* At one point my dept. head misunderstood something that hooligan said, & instead of settling our problem, he got fired back *digs hole & hides* OTL It's so embarrassing in that moment of 'silence'.. In the end that hooligan somehow got himself frustrated & declared I don't have to change anything & forget about it (DUH???) That's totally inappropriate & not what I expected .__.

He could just tell me straight forward what he wanted me to change in the first place (e.g. how my dept. head did QC with us) & I'll just change it for him, that's it! I have no idea why he'd prefer to put on a show in front of the studio yelling & degrading himself, not to forget wasting time as well. Ho hum.

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Monday, October 01, 2007

Work that goes down the drain. Some art post.

Been almost a week I did not touch my Persona 3 since my PS2 broke down AGAIN for the 4th or 5th time & sent it for repair AGAIN *despairs* Someone sponsor me a new PS2...? ;__; I'm already reserving $$$ for a PSP later this month or maybe only after I finish my Persona 3. I'm so eager to meet Koromaru! >w< Work:
After few months on this job, it's already in the process of eating my personal life AWAY. Mon-Sat, 10am-8/9pm all goes to work, the remaining time & Sundays are the only time I get to BE AT HOME & do whatever I want (which I spent 3/4 of it sleeping 'cos I'm SO FRIGGIN' TIRED by the end of the week).

I was working on one file for the entire day today, a task given by a senior. And it's my first time working on this new character for this upcoming new series; so I know nuts about this new character (action, behaviour, etc.) as well as this 'advance super-smooth animation technique' that we gotta use for this iNtErNaTiOnAl cartoon. Thus I: draw, redraw, adjust, draw, "it doesn't look right" - so continue drawing, director came by & giving hints that it's an urgent file - OKAY, draw, think, draw, I mainly got myself frustrated over a simple animation (yes, it's just only a simple animation actually, look how SLOW & WORTHLESS I am!), boss also came by urging me to finish it - OKAY, and so I kept working on it till over 9pm, however in the end, my seniors found out that the animation I was working on is actually NOT NEEDED.

Apparently my director finally check that animation scene with the VO at the end of the day and found out it's unnecessary for that action.

OTL!!!

Oh yes, they should've check with the VO timing before handing me that task in the first place. Sigh. You guys are SO kind...! *shakes fist*
My collegue, ZeMing gave me a belated present today, which really surprised me! I did not expect he'd take my joke ("yes it's my bday, where's my present?" thingy) seriously. Gomen gomen >A< *guilty* But thank yoU!! It's a decorative candle(?) I don't know if I could actually light it... but it'll be a waste if I don't light it.. Though it'll burn away those decorative stuff in it if I do.. owO; Art dump:

Persona 3 fanart - Akihiko Sanada (above). Below are OCs unless stated otherwise.

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Sunday, July 29, 2007

Keyframe work

My dear almost-dead-blog,

Recently, I am.....
- tired of working on Saturdays, fulltime.
- drained & depressed.
- afraid I couldn't handle doing keyframe in time.

I want to.....
- go on a vacation again (even Genting is fine..)
- watch Transformers for the 3rd time.
- start having more greens than meat.
- finish my FFXII.
- draw.

I want.....
- that Gabranth figurine!! (a.k.a. FFXII: 'The Judge' Play Arts figurine, to be exact) T__T
- a pay raise!
- a new laptop/desktop with higher RAM + DVDRW-ROM.
- a new *cough* single *cough* bishie *cough* collegue sit next to me at work, which will never happen anyways OTL

I began doing keyframe animation about 2 weeks ago by now. I'd to admit, it's more stressful (mostly 'cos of the '30+ files in 7 days' deadline) but somehow it's more fun than doing clean-ups eventually. I don't know HOW my fellow keyframe mates manage to handle that amount of files within that timeframe @_@ Or perhaps I need to speed up my drawing. Sigh. I'm STILL a keyframe newbie, you tards~! >A<*

Another sad thing about work is that 3 collegues are leaving next month, including the one currently sitting next to me. It's kinda ironic when:
- the one who sat next to me (right side) before this guy left last month.
- the one who sat next to me (left side) left the middle of this month (this one's a good news though, for some reason).
- the one who is sitting next to me (right side) now is leaving early next month.
(hey, am I that scary?) ;___;

And again, I'm still a keyframe newbie, you tards! Who's gonna mentor me when the dude next to me leaves?! D:< * is grumpy & illogical*

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Tuesday, July 03, 2007

This is how a malfunctioning brain works

It's that kind of moment again, where my mind wanders off thinking about L I F E . Nothing deep basically (how complicated can my mind go anyway..) , just a feeling of being pathetic and miserable.. and booooorrrreeeeddd........ *yawns* So don't read ahead of this post 'cos it's full of nonsense >8D


My RMIT application only got exempted for 3 subjects, which means I'd still have to do 3 years degree if I'm to go for it next year. While I could only manage to afford for 2 years' overseas study + living expenses... OTL *sigh #1*

I basically can't seem to draw anything decent out lately (or ever since I started WORK..?) Despite I've joined the art group in my office for this year's CF, and also there's the company artbook's submission, & also YUE doujin's submissions as well.. And it's already JULY!!! (which's just 4-5 months left to work on submissions!) ... OTL *sigh #2*

I think I need new friends. Or is work making everyone apart and distanced from each other? =_= *sigh #3*

Or even a boyfriend or a girlfriend (heck, I wouldn't mind to be honest) Matchmake anyone?? .................... WHAT AM I THINKING?!?!?!?!??! >O<;;; OTL *sigh #4* I felt like I'm being ignored too. Am I being too friendly or too scary/cold or et cetera... But then again, maybe I'm just plain bored -> sensitive =_= The ironic part is, the attention that I wasn't seeking/expecting eventually comes to me from time to time.. while the attention that I wanted NEVER came. YEY..~ *sigh #5*

Lunch time they were talking about who're the guys in the office now might suit me (why did I ever tell them that I'm blerdy single..??? ARGH) =A=;
Hey, I DO wish there's one (it helps build up motivation at least) BUT, unfortunately there's NONE. NONE NONE NONE.. OTL *sigh #6*

I shall stop & go to sleep now *crawls to bed*
Btw, TRANSFORMERS WAS AWESOME!!!!! <3<3<3

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Friday, June 08, 2007

Aku suka. Jangan tanya mengapa <3

I saw a Pekingese (and a poodle) in a petshop nearby our lunch place today. It's so friggin' cute..! @_@ *rarely sees pekingese around* And it's wearing a mini shirt, sitting by the entrance door. I wanna go there lunch again tomorrow & take a photo of it!! *regretted not bringing out h/p* But it wasn't there before....;;; o_o

My director did asked me about my new seat. I said I like it, and he said something like I could just sit there permanently if I want. (REALLY?) If he's serious that is D:

Work for tomorrow as well.
For some reason, I don't mind. Strangely.

>w< <3

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Thursday, June 07, 2007

Back from Melbourne on last Sunday night. Touched down at 9.30pm, and reached home around 10.30-11pm - took a half day leave from work on the next day X_X I do miss the cold weather and (clean) living environment in Melbourne. Sigh.
And of course, brought back a box filled with CHOCOLATES!!! >8DD <3<3<3

Recently changed my table seat at work AGAIN (exchange, to be exact) though I think I prefer this new location; more space, less distraction (there's nothing much to 'view' from where I'm facing) & colder ^^ But sadly this may not be permanent...! OTL OTL I don't understand why I'd need to return to my previous seat later on since it wouldn't make much difference; organisation-wise. And it's just wasting time + energy to unplug-plug & shift stuffs again... =3= DUH

It's kinda sad I hardly have any time to draw, play or online since I started this job. Gotta figure out and reorganise my time again. I WANT to draw and finish my FFXII!! OTL

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Sunday, May 27, 2007

1 week in Melbourne!

*blows dust away & whacks the FLY......* OOPS.

I'm currently vacationing at Melbourne with my mom for a week! ^o^ Will be back on next Sunday... and then back to work the very next day... OTL (but it's a good thing... I think?) @A@; I wonder how much am I getting for my first month's wage since I took a week's worth of unpaid leave... ugh. Work was alright, busy, but alright. Though I'd prefer my previous work seat (we've just reorganise our seats in the studio) ;__; Just when I'm beginning to 'like' my seat OTL

Pirates of the Caribbean 3
Went for it the midnight right before I flew to Melbourne in the next morning (Saturday) ^o^ It gets kinda confusing in between their 'agreements' here and there... definitely have to watch it AGAIN (I will anyway) XD Overall it's not bad, more talking/negotiating here and there. Poor Chow Yun Fatt~ D:

I'll want to catch Shrek 3 when I get back..!!! #__#

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